We are not the same.
We are not the same.
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
Lots of self-hatred, I suppose. I really didn’t like my skin color, or my race. I catered to white people and made a lot of self-degrading jokes, partly because I grew up in a society where there were maybe two Indian characters on American television and both were racist caricatures and I thought I was one too. I thought that that was all I could ever be to my peers, and those thoughts were pretty horrible. I’m not going to sit here and romanticize it, but I will admit that pulling myself out of that hole really gave me the courage to keep going, you know?
The whole “bisexuality” thing has really taken me for a spin, especially since my mother claims not be “homophobic” but she’s just super uncomfortable talking about sexuality. Last night I said the word “bisexual” to my little brother and she pulled me aside and told me not to say inappropriate things like that to him. Honestly, she’s just one of those “I don’t want to see it or talk about it and I swear I don’t hate it but just don’t look at it or shove it in my face or get married to it” straight people. So I guess remaining closeted is also one of those “you have to be strong” things.
Obviously, my best friend’s mental illnesses are emotionally exhausting. I promised myself to not care so much, because there’s nothing I can do that I haven’t already done. She can’t afford insurance, so she can’t go to the hospital. She’s already on pills, she’s already going to therapy and she’s already not changing, so I have to be brave enough to let her go now. She keeps punishing herself for bad grades, and she starves and throws up and self harms, and she recently started drinking while on medication, so at this point, I’ve resigned myself to texting her suicide hotlines. I’m basically waiting for her to either get better or to die, and it’s just horrible, horrible, horrible. I’d like to think I’m much stronger now because of all this, but maybe I’m just too introverted to deal with emotions for long periods of time.
I just feel tired, nonnie. I don’t feel strong. But I’ll wake up tomorrow, and right now, that’s as much strength as I can ask for :/
THE MAGIC BEGINS ϟ
Favourite Relationship | The Golden TrioThere are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.
I’m not anything special, but this means so much to me, that a stranger on the internet sees my name and that’s the first thing they think.
See, strength is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. No one’s ever told me I was brave before, and to tell you the truth, I’d much rather be brave than anything else. I used to think (and sometimes still do) academics were the only things I’m good at, and these last few years have been hard on the soul. To hear that “hey, you can deal with this because i’ve seen you do it before”…I needed this tonight.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
yes it is :) my friend is obsessed with coldplay and i guess it kind of rubbed off haha
"And now what, John?"
"Now you get yourself into that airplane and then fight your way back to me, understood?"
sherlock au in which everything is the same but in the tarmac John just knows.
ooh, i remember that too - and yes, it seems really cool to think about a mixed race dumbledore (which, if she’s actually some part native american, is 100% canon). having a man of color being an essential part of harry’s education is actually so nice to think about. and i don’t even like dumbledore all too much haha
heads up that “i get so pissed off when people tell harry potter fans that they’re being too picky” post is going around and disclaimer disclaimer i LIKE the harry potter movies i just think that some of the problems could have been easily solved (e.g. make emma watson wear a bushy wig if she wants to straighten her real hair, don’t kill off voldemort in a flood of butterflies, don’t make ron’s character any worse than it already was in the books, etc.)
basically if you see people freaking out over how i care more about slytherins in the hp movies than oppressed people on that post just ignore them :-)
It was Hermione.
"But she didn’t look like Hermione at all. She had done something with her hair; it was no longer bushy but sleek and shiny, and twisted up into an elegant knot at the back of her head. She was wearing robes made of a floaty, periwinkle-blue material…” - Ch23 | THE YULE BALL